HOW TO PROTECT YOUR CHILD FROM SEXUAL ASSAULT and What to do if it happens PDF

Unquestionably, children are gifts form God. Parents, here are a few Scripture reminders. Pray for and with your children.

Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. {4} As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. {5} Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

Psa 127:3-5

Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.

Prov 19:18

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Eph 6:4

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Prov 22:6

But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. {9} Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?

Heb 12:8-9

Children also need to know these Scriptures:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.

Eph 6:1

Practical steps to protect your children:

1. Nurture and love your children and let them know that you care about what happens to them away from home. Encourage them to tell you the truth about all situations even if you may not like what they tell you. Teach them how precious they are to God. Pray with them and for them.

2. Tell them that God has provided us with a “thinker” , “feeler”, and a “chooser.”

The “Thinker” helps them to learn things. (Exercise) Ask them what they think about.

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Phil 4:8

The “Feeler” lets us know when things are not like they should be and also helps us to be happy when things are good. (Exercise) Discuss what emotional feelings are: Sad, Happy, Loved, Mixed up, Scared, Mad or Angry, etc. Draw faces to show expressions.

At this point, explain how God gave us a “thinker” and a “feeler” so that we could “choose.” God gave us Free Will so we could make our own choices.

3. Discuss parts of the body deciding which ones are “private” and “public.” Discuss the differences between a female and a male body “private” parts. Discuss which parts of the body are open to view and which are not. Make sure the child knows which sex they are, male or female. In our day, it is often hard to tell with hairstyles and cross-gender dressing and all the emphasis on homosexual and lesbian lifestyles, a child may be confused.

Encourage your child to ask lots of questions. You may want to make a little pretend game by pointing to a body part such as the arms, legs, chest, and more private areas and have the child yell out, “Private” or “public” when you point to those specific places.

Make sure your child knows that we are all made in God’s image and whatever is done to our body, is done to a part of God’s creation. Help them to realize that when they are hurt it makes God sad.

4. At this point after the child understands the differences between male and female, they may ask why God made them that way. Explain that God made people so He could spend time with them as his friends, but some people choose not to be God’s friends. You can also explain that since God wanted to have lots of friends, He made a way for a man and woman to make babies. (This area of discussion will be up to you to explain it in a way they can understand. Make sure they know that it is God’s perfect will that a man and woman be married when they make a baby.)

5. Now you need to discuss our senses.: Touch, Taste, Smell, See, Hear This is when you teach them, “Good touch” and “Bad touch”. Let them know that our senses will help us to tell the difference. Give some examples of both kinds of touches. Be sure and let your child explain to you the difference.

6. You must be sure that your child knows the difference between good and evil and that God allows us to make choices between the two. Explain that sometimes people choose to do evil or bad things to children.

7. Discuss how Bad touches and good touches make us have certain feelings [2.] You will also need to explain that you cannot decide a person is a “no touch” person by the way he or she looks.

8. Create a pretend situation where a child feels that a person is going to give them a “bad touch.” Help them to act out and be able to say in a strong way, “Don’t touch me.” Re-assure them that they can make the choice because it is their body.

At this point you will need to make sure they know what to do in such a situation. Do you want them to run?, call home, go somewhere safe?, or talk to their teachers, or policeman?. Your safety plan is your choice, but you need to make sure the child knows in advance to a situation.

(Situations)

1. A big boy follows them home from school and starts to walk behind them. Help them use their “thinker” to decide what to do. Lie about where they live? Where would they run? Who would they tell? What if no one is home at their house?
2. They are home alone and the door bell rings. What do they do? Look out the window? Scream?? Use the phone and call for help? Unlock the door? Help them to learn to use their “thinker
3. What if a stranger or neighbor offers candy?
4. What if it is a relative? What if the relative tries to do “bad touch?” Help the child to “think” about their “feelings” and to make the right “choices.”
5. What if the phone rings and someone is talking bad things?

Tell the child why it is wrong to take candy or trust a stranger or get in a car with them.

(Exercise) Make sure you have important phone numbers in a location where the child can easily read them and stay by the phone. Perhaps if you have a phone in another room, you could put emergency numbers there, also.

1. Practice using the phone. Hold your finger on the connect button and let the child dial the numbers. If you have relative’s numbers, you could even clue them in and have them help you out.
2. Be sure to instruct your child not to tell a stranger that phones your home that you are not home, or that they are alone. Teach them good phone manners such as saying, “I’m sorry, my parents are not available now, may I take a message?” This way the caller will not know for sure if you are home or maybe just in the bathroom or outside.
3. Also, teach them to hang up immediately on nasty phone calls and not even talk to the person. You may have to help them understand what a nasty, obscene phone call is by reminding them again about their senses make them feel. Often obscene callers will ask you what you are wearing and what you are doing or else they will describe what they are doing to themselves. You will have to be the judge on just what to tell your child, but you do need to try to explain obscene phone calls.

(Exercise) Try a pretend game where the child thinks what they must do in some of the situations above. Have the child practice yelling out, “Stop, don’t touch me!” or “No, I don’t want you to touch me!” or “No, that is my Private parts and you are not supposed to touch me there!”

CHILD ABUSE PREVENTION IS BEST ACCOMPLISHED
     WITH EDUCATION AND PLANNING AHEAD

Find out in advance about: Your community’s Rape crisis program and special medical provisions under such a program and does that program have a special child victim component.

What if it does happen to your child? Be the parent God wants you to be. Ask God for wisdom.

• Do not change the child’s clothes or wash the child. You could destroy valuable evidence used to convict the perpetrator. (If you can, take a full change of clothes with you, including shoes and socks)

• Take the child to a medical facility and immediately notify the staff of the situation and ask that the police be notified. Do not assume that they will do this without your request. Request that your child not be interviewed by more than once by a specially trained officer preferably of the same sex as the child.

• Be prepared to write things down, ask questions, get answers, and write them down. Also get the names of the police, doctors, nurses, and social workers who have examined your child. Make sure your family doctor gets a report, too.

STAY WITH YOUR CHILD NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE TELLS YOU!

It is most important that your initial reaction to such a discovery does not cause your child further trauma. Be careful and keep a cool head and a loving heart. Keep in mind that it is almost unheard of for children to “make up” acts of sexual assault. If your child can be specific enough to explain the physical aspects of a sexual assault, it is almost certain that he or she is telling the truth. Resist the temptation to prove the child wrong or convince yourself that this is just a mistake on the child’s part. Instead, tell your child the following things.

• You believe that they are telling you the truth and that what happened was not their fault. Make it clear to your child that you are glad they told you and you are very sorry that it happened and that you will do everything necessary to provide them with all the help the child needs to deal with the situation. Make sure they know you are on their side.

Sometimes the abuse or sexual assault is attempted and not completed. If the child is exposed to viewing someone’s private parts or dirty talking, it can have a lasting effect on the child, so do not treat that type of incident as if it didn’t happen. Try not to over-react, but follow the same guidelines above because it needs to be put on police and medical records.

PLANNING AHEAD MAKING WISE CHOICES

My favorite declarations to my children: “Just because it is accepted does not mean it is right!” “”Out, “is not a good enough place to go!” “I want a place, a name, and a phone number in case I need you in an emergency.” (Then I exercised my right as a parent and surprised them occasionally by checking up to see if they had given me the correct information when they least expected it.)

In our society it is common for our little children to want to dress like what they see on T. V. or their friends. As a parent, you are responsible for helping your child to make the right choices and not give in to peer pressure.

Remember – perpetrators are usually aroused by Sight! Men are aroused by sight and women by touch as a rule. Help your child to make the choice to dress modest and pleasing to God. You can find a happy medium and not force old fashioned clothes on them, but at the same time using wisdom. Tight shirts, see through shirts, and ones that expose the belly button are in. Both are too revealing for any age child. Tight pants and hip huggers are just as bad. You may think they look cute, but a perpetrator will think they look “sexy” and are “asking for it.” Then you have the other extreme when boys wear pants that are so baggy and loose fitting that they fall down and reveal the back side crack without little provocation.

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; {4} That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, {5} To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. {6} Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded. {7} In all things showing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine showing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity, {8} Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you.

Titus 2:3-8

CHILD ABUSE HURTS!

CHILD ABUSE CHANGES THE WAY YOU RELATE TO OTHERS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

I KNOW, I AM A SURVIVOR!

We pray this information has helped you to prepare and protect your children. If your child has already suffered abuse in any form, it could help you to get our healing workbook., FROM VICTIMS To VICTORS – THROUGH THE CROSS OF JESUS CHRIST- Gilead’s Balm.

Your servant in Jesus, Donna Carrico

Contact Information

Child Help Organization Hot Line

Report Child Abuse and Neglect

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